Oberlin: Enter the Classifieds

Update: As of Fall 2020, the Oberlin Classifieds service has been retired.

Oberlin students have a certain spark. It's not snark or cynicism, it's more of a slightly pointed... silliness. Weird implies a non-functionality; uniqueness is too bland. Eccentric? Zany? Jaunty? Quirky?

Does anyone have a word for us? John, Chris, gentle readers? Recent visitors to Oberlin who have found the word to describe us?

While I can't find the word, I think I can show it off. Here follows the most representative ads from the Oberlin Classifieds describing the Oberlin spirit.

The Classifieds appear on the main academic hub site. It's where to post for carpools, houses for rent, lost things, things for sale, student jobs... etc. It's not really policed by the college, leading to some great ads.

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WRESTLE US: Winner Is Kiddie Pool's Rightful Owner!
To the person(s) who stole our rainbow inflated kiddie pool on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning, Apr. 26/27:

We paid for it. We spent the whole day in it, feeling awesome. You came along around 2 or 3 am and saw it sitting unattended by the Union Street houses and decided to steal it. That's somewhat legitimate.

The owners of the rainbow kiddie pool challenge its thefts to a baby-oil wrestling match inside of it. Winner takes pool. We like to think we're being reasonable.

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Handyman
I am staying in Oberlin for the summer and I'd like to make some extra money.

I am very experienced with construction. I've worked as a mason tender and eventually a mason since I was fifteen years old. Through masonry I have experience laying brick, laying block, pouring cement, as well as simple patch jobs for the purpose of aesthetics.

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free kittens
a litter of four black and white kittens need a place to grow up.

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Gibberish Puppet Shows
Every Monday Noon
(weather permitting)
Wilder Bowl

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SEXCO Final Project on BREASTS!
SEXCO final project: The BOOB BOOK by Drew Lafontant and Lydia Stout
If you are willing to be interviewed and/or photographed for our project, please contact us soon!

Note: Request is for the Sexual Information Exco Class, a student-taught class on sexuality, sexual health, gender and all things around these topics. The class gears students to work at the SIC (Sexual Information Center), an office in the student union that counsels students on all topics under the sun.

So no, this isn't a scam to see breasts.

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holy mother of fermentation
i am in search of a kombucha mama culture with plenty of healing power. please let me know if you have any leads!

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Star Trek
TONS of videos and action figures. For sale at reasonable offer. Come see it (Amherst, Ohio) and make an offer. I want to get rid of it not make a killing on profit. If you have interest in a home based business I will give it all to you with a 3 month commitment to starting a HBB.

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Please drive my beta fish home to NYC
I am flying home to NYC and cannot bring my fish on board. He is tiny (a beta fish). He can go a day or two without food, so basically all I need is someone to take him home in their car and I'll pick him up in the city. I will pay you $5.

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Wild Cellular Home
if you have any phones, the menagerie is begun and we in tank #315 will be welcome to add your friends to our little zoo. we offer our phones a sufficient diet, an exercise wheel, and a spacious cage.

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My ideal Oberlin Classified Help Wanted Ad:

Company Wants You!
Hi there, upcoming grads! My name is CoolAlum and I'm running Company, a kicking new start-up in Portland, OR. Company takes Portland bands and promotes them to wider audiences, working the college circuit. I need someone to work as a promoter/manager/organizer.

Requirements: BA, experience with recruitment, management, team-building and public speaking.

Desired qualities: close attention to detail, friendliness, music appreciation and a good sense of humor. Must be willing to work long hours, possibly in smoky, grody music clubs. Experience with rope-climbing, mosh-pit dancing, blogging (macro + micro) is a plus.