My last semester’s officially begun, but it doesn’t quite feel like it yet. I get tripped up when I see emails for housing applications and realize I don’t need to do that anymore, when I go into Mudd and realize these are my last times I’m going to be in the building. It’s hard to feel like it's really ending until it's already over. Coming into the semester, I thought of all of the things I hadn’t done and still wanted to do, making sure I checked them off the list and used my time at Oberlin to the fullest. Now in the semester, I don’t quite feel that pressure of time because I still feel like I’ll be back here next semester. It just feels like any of the other 7 semesters I’ve done. This has caused me to reflect on what my final semester really means to me, and if I should just enjoy it in the present, or focus (and perhaps stress) about the ways I can make it the best one yet.
I think it’s a bit misguided to come into the semester thinking about all the things I haven’t done, instead of the things I HAVE done. It’s almost treating the three and a half years I spent so far as insufficient. Of course, there’s no harm in wanting to live the moment to fullest, but what if that keeps you from actually living in the present moment? I’m wondering if the best way to enjoy my last semester is to enjoy all the qualities of college life that I’ve come to take for granted but will quickly miss: communal living, studying with a coffee in the library, passing friends on the street, biking around campus. A lot of times when I come back from a break, being around such a saturation of people is overwhelming, but I know I’m going to miss it. I’ll admit, I’ll probably even miss that one con of going to a small school: consistently running into people you’d rather not run into. It’s just nice to know that everyone is close by; if I ever DO want to run into that person, they won’t be hard to find.
So what haven’t I done, and what have I?
Well, both of those lists are very long. Despite what double degree and double major students will tell you, it’s impossible to do everything. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot you can do, though. Looking back on my time, there is so much I never thought I would have done. I didn’t expect to sing at Carnegie Hall, or study abroad in Vietnam, or even small things like becoming obsessed with cross stitch from an Exco, or meet my closest friend in a stats class I hated. Did I think I was going to minor in East Asian Studies? No, but I did think I was gonna take at least one or two classes in the subject. I also didn’t think I would study Japanese, but I ended up taking two semesters of it. Yes, I did think I was going to double major in Cinema and Creative Writing rather than just minor in Creative Writing, but I’m happy with how my degree turned out. I didn’t teach an Exco, or host a show on WOBC, but I did join a co-op, participate in a group Winter Term project on campus, and have my film shown in the Apollo.
I suppose the moral of the story is I’m trying to find a balance. I’m moving through the semester as I usually would, enjoying my time in the present, but if I come across something I want to do and in past semesters was hesitant about, I’m pushing myself to try it out. I don’t think there will be anything I really regret about my time at Oberlin.
