The thing is, I don’t care.
Well, that’s not true. I do care a lot about love—just maybe not in the traditional sense. This Valentine’s Day, I’m choosing to celebrate love in all its forms, not just romantic. I’d like to think this is a common sentiment for students at Oberlin, as I’ve seen many friends giving each other cards and chocolate, or hanging out for Pal- or Gal-entine’s celebrations. My co-op has a little basket in the lounge for people to send valentines to each other, and I’ve already received 3 different little notes complimenting my new clogs! Plus we’re having a party tonight to celebrate love in many forms :)
I guess, to be honest, the dating scene here is not exactly renowned for its excellence. I genuinely think a lot of Obies are just so busy that they just don’t have time for—or interest in—serious relationships. Sure, we have our fair share of freshman hookup culture, and there are plenty of long distance relationships with partners at other schools. There is also the occasionally-referenced statistic that some obscenely high percentage of Obies end up marrying other Obies, but I have yet to see that proven true in the current generation... maybe let me get back to you in another ten years.
All that is to say, for the most part, people at Oberlin are much more deeply invested in their academics, extracurriculars, and friendships than dating. We find fulfillment in all sorts of ways. This phenomenon is what I believe some GSFS majors would label as “relationship anarchy,” the anti-hierarchical belief that romantic relationships should not hold more weight or significance than platonic ones. In other words, there are so many things to do on campus that romantic relationships are often only a small part of an Obie’s priorities. Of course, some students find the love of their life here! But in my experience that isn’t the vast majority—far from it. Many of us exist as single or “it’s complicated” and like it that way. The most recent example of this single-Obie-syndrome I have observed is that someone I know recently sent out a Valentine’s matchmaking form that received over 150 responses in less than 36 hours! Proof that many of us are on the market, as it were...
Ultimately, if you came to this blog considering Oberlin, hoping to find the love of your life here: fear not, Obies are rarely sad and lonely! I think our campus is full of many forms of love, whether that be creative fulfillment, team camaraderie, academic passion, cooperative spirit, polyamorous devotion, homoerotic friendship, highschool sweethearts, special interests, community building, student org. collaboration, or anything else you can imagine... And sure, if you’re one to date around, you might have an awkward encounter with an ex from time to time, but for the most part I think our small campus actually contributes to more love on campus, even if it’s not always romantic!
P.S. Matches from the Valentine’s Day google form are supposedly being sent out sometime today, and rumor has it there is over a 97% match-rate... maybe there is still hope for romance to prevail!
