I Love My Roommate

Despite the fact that every time my friends come over, they, without fail, lament the loss of my old Barrows single—with the built-in storage, great natural lighting, nice view, plenty of space to sit, and most importantly, privacy—I actually adore having a roommate this year.

I got lucky my freshman year with getting assigned a single. I was in China during roommate selection, so I wasn’t able to fill out the housing preferences form (thanks, Firewall), and I’m guessing that’s why I ended up alone. While I initially thought of going for a single again, I didn’t want to risk getting a later slot in the housing lottery, finding out all the singles were taken, and then being assigned to live with a stranger for a whole year. So last spring, I mustered up my courage and accosted my unsuspecting now-roommate five minutes before our shared class began and asked if she had a roommate yet. (Thank god she said yes, or I probably would’ve been too embarrassed to show my face in class for the rest of the term.)

Though I didn’t know Mary too well before this year, other than us having a class together in the fall and unintentionally taking another two classes together that spring, we clicked as roommates as perfectly as one could hope for. I’ve never had a long-term roommate before this year, and I enjoy my alone time, so I was a bit apprehensive. My mom thought it would be good for me to have another person present to keep me from feeling lonely, and though I’m like every obstinate 19-year-old who hates to admit their parents are right… my mom was totally right.

We live in a divided double, which is one thing that really stood out to me about Oberlin housing during my All Roads tour as a prospective student. I don’t know of many other colleges that offer a similar housing option, but at Oberlin, divided doubles are just normal doubles with a wall and door down the center. At first, I wondered why they didn’t just make two singles, especially because whoever lives in the inside room has to walk through the other person’s space to leave the shared room. But having a divided double is a very unique experience, and has its own benefits which honestly make me prefer it more than living in a single.

First, there’s obviously the benefit of being able to balance having privacy with having the presence of someone else to keep you from feeling lonely. As a major introvert and someone who often studies in my room, it could get lonely spending hours quietly working in my Barrows single. Within the first few days of living together, Mary and I established that we would keep the door open at all times, which is why the “staving off loneliness” thing really works. If we turn our heads, we can see each other’s desks through the door from our own desks, so there’s a sense of solidarity each time it hits midnight and we see each other still working away. Mary is also a Politics major, and we also happened to be in a class together last term and this term, so we can talk (complain and stress) about our shared assignments too.

There is one downside about being friends with your roommate, however, which is that each time one of us asks, “So… have you started the assignment yet?” we’ll get derailed and chat for at least an hour and a half before panicking and realizing how much time we’ve wasted.

Also, I guess this whole “not lonely” thing hinges on actually being friends with your roommate. South, my dorm, has a lot of divided doubles, and I was surprised to hear how many of my friends just keep the door shut and never talk to their roommates, or choose to have someone randomly assigned. I know people always say that living together can destroy friendships, but I think a divided double circumvents a lot of those issues. Any mess will be contained to one side of the room; if one roommate is going to bed early, the other can shut the door and keep their own lights on without disturbing the roommate’s sleep (Mary and I do this when one of us is staying up even later than usual); and you can have your friends over at the same time.

Mary and I also have very compatible habits and lifestyles. I live in the outside room, which is generally considered the “worse” room (to be completely transparent, it feels much smaller and there’s less storage and no drawers or built-in mirror), but over the summer, we decided it would make the most sense for us. I’m taking a 9 AM class this term, while Mary has classes in the afternoon, and I have friends over more often, so it’s less disruptive for her and more convenient for my friends if I live in the outside room. Overall, though, we both tend to be pretty quiet, go to sleep late, and get up past 12-1 PM on the weekends. (That last one is a horrible habit, I know. My mom hoped whoever my roommate was, that they would be able to wake me up in the morning, but unfortunately, we are both chronic oversleepers.)

One of the most heartwarming and unexpected benefits of having a roommate has been the little things we do for each other. Every time one of us goes to Umami for dinner, we’ll ask the other whether they want to place an order so that we can pick it up for them while we’re already there. That was particularly helpful this winter when we had unspoken rotating pickup days that saved us each a few trips walking in the cold/dark/snow/rain/other Ohio weather maladies. It was also especially helpful when my meal plan was canceled for almost two weeks, and Mary would order food for me with her own meal swipes. Everyone extend your “Thank you”s to Mary because, without her, I would’ve starved to death in February and wouldn’t be blessing you with my writing right now. Finally, one time I was in the library and she brought me my jacket on her way to pick up dinner so I wouldn’t be cold when I walked back to the dorm later that evening. Thank you, Mary. I love you.